Our world is a peculiar thing, as are the humans living in it.
As I’m navigating this thing called life, I keep receiving experiences in which humans still astonish me. In which there’s no right or wrong, of course.
Just a simple: “Hu, this is quite a surprise. I didn’t see this one coming.”
One can have the intention to be sincere and do it for the greater good of all humans involved, and still those very same humans can utterly hate this person for it.
Truly a peculiar thing.
Don’t you think?
Starting from December, I’ve been going above and beyond to mend everything caused by a small self-proclaimed elite group of ego-driven infant men. Preventing a lawsuit and a huge amount of extra costs for the community. Making space again for communication and meetings in which agreements are made and solutions are found.
Yes.
Without payment and knowing it would require energy and time I decided to put my teeth into this mess. Because a mess it was and to this day still partially is.
I also insisted on not allowing these little boys to continue as they were. Deciding to stay little boys means they can’t regulate themselves. With all the associated consequences. Mark my words: Men ànd women like this should never get the right to be in positions like this. A position in which they have the power to decide for a group.
So from December till now, I decided to focus on the work at hand. Not caring if my efforts would be noticed. I just wanted everything to get back on track and in balance. In this process I did not expected to be treated, on several occasions, like the villain. Our peculiar world truly works in very interesting ways giving me the opportunity to learn so much about myself and humans.
Basically, the most toxic one of them recently changed his tactics, most likely because he could feel the heat of me not backing down despite his viciousness and low attacks towards me. One would think people would still see him for what he is. As indeed it’s impossible for a human to change deeply in such a small period of time. Well, in this peculiar world, people don’t want to see it. He gets praised for his ‘excellent work’ and I’m the one getting attacked and scolded for demanding to get full pictures, clarity, and truth. Because I believe that getting as much information from as many people as possible is the only way to get a full picture and come to conclusions. Obviously, not everyone seems to share my point of view. On which someone who couldn’t even last a full month (or was it 2?) in this group, as the pressure of the manipulation from the infant men was too high for her, sees it as her opportunity to get her bruised ego filled up.
Yeah, I had to laugh when the picture of her trying to stand on top of my head to push me down popped into my mind.
Nevertheless.
As I’m observing this all.
I’m still puzzled.
The woman trying to fill her bruised ego and trying to stand on my head. This I can place into perspective.
And honestly, also the other women who were scolding and attacking me. Which all of a sudden makes me realize that it’s all women.
Interesting.
Is it not?
So the answer to the questions…:
How come people who are influenced by another person’s actions don’t want to see the negative consequences for themselves?
How come that when one points out the shit and the darkness, or tries to uncover it in the best interest of the group, that very group attacks this person? Desperately wanting the person to stop?
… is:
These individuals, this group, want to keep the illusion of safety and control. Someone who wants to have realness and connection is a threat to them. I am a threat to them as they know and feel that I’ll confront them with their illusions, fakeness, bullshit patterns, etc.
Then one question remains:
“How do you position yourself towards these people to give a beneficial outcome for all?”
In my therapy sessions, workshops, etc. I know very well how to handle this kind of energy.
Applying the same technique in this group doesn’t seem to work as they are not voluntarily (at least not consciously) coming to me saying: “Hey Saskia, I’ve decided to look at my shit! Can you support me in this process, please?”
To this day, I do not know how to manage or coordinate in a way that I keep my integrity and respect as an individual AND there’s a benefit for the group.
So, as long as I don’t know, I just keep experimenting and trying things out till the moment I’m like: “Yeaaaaaah, my intuition is telling me this is the way.” A process that asks energy, but one I know in the end gives many rewards.
In case you’re wondering. I do ask myself the question sometimes:
“How would it have been if I hadn’t stepped in? If I had allowed them to bite each other’s heads off? Allowing them to cause huge costs for the group simply because these infant men love starting a war more than communicating and respecting their fellow humans?”
Honestly.
I guess I wouldn’t have learned what I’ve already learned so far about myself and others.
I guess I wouldn’t have had this rise in eagerness to understand why toxic people are being allowed by the group to rule them.
I guess I wouldn’t have had this determination to learn how to break this pattern that is infecting not only this group, but also our world.
Because indeed, I realize that this is one of the many missions I carry into this lifetime.
